Y'know, it's been so long since I have updated this I am not qutie sure anyone even still checks up on me.
But I'm back. I don't know when I'll be around this way again, so I will update you all on what I've been up to, to the best of my ability.
I figure I should offer an explanation as to why I haven't been around, first of all. It's really quite simple. I'm in school these days. I'm doing the post-secondary thing I spent the last five months talking about. I've experienced so many emotions, and not all of them to do with school.
Let's get the school outta the way first. I got lost on campus my first day... lost to the point of completely missing my first class. But I think I'm moderately caught up. I dunno. It's philosophy. I must be honest with you all here about something...
I think philosophy sucks. I don't like it, and I truthfully don't care if I fail it or not. I realize that's a piss-poor attitude, but man oh man, I just don't get it. I can't wrap my head around this "critical-thinking" crap. It's not my thing. Now, for anyone who knows me well... you might be surprised to find out my real opinion on it. But man oh man, I just can't wait for intercession to be over. Thankfully it's only a couple more days of this crap.
Then I can focus on the other three courses. I am LOVING psychology. Probably my favorite course out of the four I'm doing this semester. After a few weeks, I'm definitely pleased with my decision to make it my minor.
Hmm.... let's switch gears for a moment or two here. What else is there to talk about? I came close to picking up smoking again. I quit back on Valentine's Day, and in all honesty I've snuck a few ciggies here and there... but since I started up with school again, I've been tempted more than ever to buy myself a pack of smokes. Maybe half the reason I've been so tempted is because of my lack of effort with the writing. This was a great help when I was back in Gander. I should probably write a lot more than I've been doing.
Not only does it help with not wanting to smoke, but it helps with not wanting to get high, as well...
And that's quite possibly becoming a problem again. Weed, that is. I've smoked more weed in the last month than I did in the entire time I spent in Gander from January to April. Mind you, that's not exactly a shitload, but when I say I've noticed a change in how I feel, I ain't lying. It's done nothing buy prove to me that I don't need to get high. It's simply nothing more than a fun way to pass the time. There's obviously more to it than that, but I don't know if I want to get into it now. I'm sure most of you reading know my thoughts on marijuana... not just getting high, but the whole pot-culture... lord knows I've talked about it in detail here before.
Jeez... what else do I have to talk about?
There's this one person I want to talk about. There's this one person I think about constantly. She's a hell of a lady... but y'know what? As much as I want to go into detail with her, every time I have ever talked about someone in a blog, everything has went tits up on me. Maybe things might go differently this time around, but I really just do not want to risk it. I may have latched on to something really very good here. Just know that my personal life is filled with plenty of sunshine and roses and lollipops and smiles and kittens and happiness lately. Sunny days are chasin' those clouds away. Mark my word.
Life on my own is pretty good, y'know. I've admittedly gotten a little slack with the physical fitness, as I've gained a noticeable amount of weight in the gut/ass area. I just don't get out like I used to, mostly due to school. It's a kick in the pants, because I'm starting to have trouble seeing my dick when I stand up lately... hahaha not really... But I think you know what I'm talking about. I keep saying, "I'll go out for a walk after supper", but I never do. I'd like to have a walking partner, or maybe someone to go to the gym with, but jesus, there ain't no one around these days.
Or is there? Honestly, I'm not putting enough effort into it. School has taken a lot of my energy. This is a totally new way of life for me these days. I'm not used to it. I know that I've got to find some kinda game plan, or I won't get out of it alive.
The last couple of days have been rougher on me from a mental standpoint than any I've experienced since I moved back into the city. Can't really say I know why, but maybe that's what led me to write this blog tonight. I just had to sit down and do it.
Writing has always made me feel better. Putting my thoughts/feelings down onto "paper" has always helped, and y'know what? I feel a million times better now. I was feeling pretty down, and was putting some (not very serious) thought into giving up once again.
I needed this. I feel refreshed. I am ready to take on the world once more. All this doubt is gone out the window. I highly recommend for anyone to write. Do a daily journal. It'll make you feel better, trust me. I feel like I've got everything into perspective once more.
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