"Your daddy wasn't strange"

I am severely lacking in the blog production department lately...

I guess that could be looked at two ways. I'm either really busy and inundated with school work, or I just haven't bothered to "pick up a pen and write".

Who's to say? I'm gonna go on record and say it's a combination of the two. School is definitely taking a turn for the better these days. I've made a few decisions that I think were a long time coming... Well, one in particular... and I should've made it the day classes started. I don't think it's something I really want to get into, so we'll just leave it at that.


Ain't it funny how life goes in cycles? I was elated to start classes... three or four weeks into it, I wanted to quit. Then I spoke with some people, and I was ready to go again. Then just a few days ago, I wanted to give it all up... Now I feel renewed. I feel reinvigorated since I've made that decision I spoke of just now. I am ready to take on the world, for all intents and purposes. Well... I'm not just ready to do it... I am going to do it.

Like I said back in April (i believe), 2009 is the year of Matthew Baker. It's gonna be my big year for growth and personal change. I feel better about myself now than I ever have.

Hmm.... what else is new in life these days? Well, I am essentially single again. That girl I mentioned in the last few blogs? Well, I pretty much predicted what'd happen. I was right. Things didn't work out. I will say, however, that it was by no fault of our own. I'd be lying if I said I'm glad about how things happened... This girl is the kindest, most gentle, ever so caring soul I have met in a long long time. She made me feel good to be me, y'know? Whether she actually found me funny or not, she laughed at everything I said. But maybe it was because I felt so at ease around her that I could just be me, y'know what I mean?

To find someone like that is a rarity... and I don't want to let her go, but I have to. I had to, rather. And I gotta be honest, I'm not happy about the way things happened. I feel like I didn't give it my all... And I can't give it my all, because of things I'm not going to talk about in such a public forum.

Okay, let's go on to something else...

You'd think that after such a prolonged period of non-writing that I would have tons to say. And to be honest, I thought I would have plenty to say, too... Maybe it's because I'm in the library, and there's plenty of distractions here. I dunno.

At the risk of going on and on about nothing, I think I'll bid y'all a fair goodbye for now. Maybe I'll be back after finals. Which, coincidentally, is the day before my birthday. That means it's my last year of being in my twenties.

Kinda frightening.