"What's my motherfuckin' name?"

As I've said many times before, certain music puts me in the mood to talk about certain aspects of my life.

Right now, I've got on some good ol' Snoop Dogg. Ain't no fun (if the homies can't have none), if you wanna know. It's old-school, as far as I'm concerned, and it's probably one of my favorite songs. As far as rap goes, anyhow. It's all about clockin' ass.

So what I got to thinkin' is this... There's a few different ways to describe.
Fuckin'
Screwin'
Makin' love.

They've all got good/bad points.
Maybe I shouldn't really get into great detail. Don't really think I want to. I would probably end up putting my foot in my mouth. I'm enough of a perv now as it is, without having to exacerbate that fact by talking about the difference between fuckin', screwin', and makin' love.

What's all this about sex? I think my sex drive is... hmm... lonely? Is that adequate? Maybe. I haven't kissed a girl in... well... a nice while. Haven't been on a date, haven't even hugged a member of the opposite sex.
I've got a high sex drive. Plain and simple. That's not to say I'm gonna fuck anything with two legs. But I want to at least make out with someone, man. Not just anyone.
I'm not saying I have anyone in particular in mind... Maybe I do. That's for me to know...
But I crave physical contact with the opposite sex. I love to kiss. Making out is an art for me... There's more than one way to get a girl off, and it's quite possible to do so without even touching lips.
It could start with a foot rub.
Could end with insertion.

But I'm a sensual person... If I touch a girl, I am gentle. Could be just a caress of the shoulders with my lips or fingertips. There's something to be said about taking time when one is with a lady. It heightens pleasure. Anticipation is what it's all about...
When one gets to the point where one just HAS to have that person...
Ya feel me?

Okay, enough of the sexy talk.

Journey is playing now, anyways...
Then again, this particular song will always remind me of that scene in "Monster" where Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci meet up in the bar and end up in the alleyway... If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about.
God damn, that really was a hot scene. I think it's because I've had a crush on Christina Ricci since, like... god... when did The Addams Family movie come out? Since then.

Okay, off of that...
(off your mother)

Yes, I made a "your mother" joke. I find them funny.
I find a lot of things funny that most people don't. I once knew someone who I could sit down with and trade "your mother" quotes/jokes with forever. The first morning we spent together, we sat across the table from each other in the hotel room, sleep still in our eyes; drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes, just trading off insults. I remember everything. She had a fantastic sense of humor. I think that's what I miss most.

Man, if I ever manage to find myself a girl again, she HAS to have a dirty mind. A dirty sense of humor is key for me, because, well, I'm a pervert. In a funny sense, of course.

Laughter, in general, is key for me. I can't remember a time when I didn't laugh at something... Maybe while I was going through puberty. I was a fuckin' little cunt when I was 16.
But these days, I laugh at everything again.
I laugh at fart jokes.
Hell, I fart on my mother sometimes... mostly, it's for the reaction I get.

I think I'd be well-suited to a career on stage. I love love LOVE to get a reaction out of people. Most of the time I say anything at all is to get a reaction from people. I like to get that "what the FUCK?!" look from people. Sometimes it's for shock value, sometimes it's for laughter.
But you talk to anyone who knows me well, and they'll tell you that.
I will say ANYTHING.

There's no such thing as a brain/mouth filter with me. I find I can hold back (to a degree) with these blogs, and it's only because I have the power to edit what I say before I click on that all-important "publish post" button.
Like a very cool person said to me earlier today, though, "I feel safe behind my hands". It was something like that, anyhow.
What she was trying to say was that she's much more composed when she creates art. She's a painter, a musician, a mother, and a wonderful person. She, like me, sometimes has trouble and difficulty with the spoken word. She's a lot like me in a lot of ways, actually. I wonder if it's the fact that she's also six feet tall, also left-handed, and also a Leo.
Hmm...
So what I'm saying about that quote is that she, like myself, is more composed when creating art. She can express herself with her talent.

Artists, true artists, are a different breed. A lot of people don't get it.
Yeah, I'm an artist. My art is my word. It is my gift to the world.

It's up to you what you do with my gift. Share it. Tell people about it.
It's somewhat of a fair representation of who I am, but I don't tell all my secrets here, as open as I tend to be.

For instance, I'm not gonna tell you about that one time I... umm.... yeah. There's plenty of those times.

Alright, I'm goin' down to South Park again.

Also, expect another entry in Martin's blog on Saturday. I think he's ready to tell you about his second victim.