Today's one of those days where I want to just want to erase everything from my past. I want to forget everything that's ever happened to me from June of '99 to December of '08.
Well, everything bad, anyhow. Anything negative that's ever happened to me, I just want to erase it. That includes girlfriends.
What I don't get about something is this: why someone would want to read my blogs if they've got no interest in talking to me?
I've made attempts at conversation with one person in particular, and within a few words being traded back and forth, it's always the same thing. "I've gotta go, so and so needs the computer", or "I'm doing laundry, I'll talk to you later"... Why would person (x) feel the need to read this, unless they just wanted to know if they were being talked about?
Is it an ego thing?
Is it something more deeply rooted?
I'd like to talk about something positive other than going back to school in September, but honestly, I can't think of anything else. The fact that I've finally closed that "drink/smoke/fuck anything and everything" chapter in my life is a big step forward for me.
I feel like I've matured as a person to no end, in the last couple of months. Being removed from major human contact since January has done me a world of good. I'm ready to get back out there and actually be who I was always meant to be. It's like I've been inside an emotional and mental shitstorm over the last ten years, and the sunny skies are finally here.
I'm not gonna accept anything less than 100% from myself while I'm in school. It just won't happen. You will see a whole new Matthew Baker over the course of the next five years. I feel like there's some kinda fire of motivation lit under my ass.
I've got visions of greatness flying around in my head, and that's all you're gonna see from me.
Like I said in yesterday's blog, the power of positive thinking is truly something to behold.
Ohhhh and I'm gonna put something out there, just so you, faithful reader, can mull it over in your brain. You've got about five months to consider it.
My birthday is August 16th... I want two things. A pair of green Chuck Taylor hightops (size 10 1/2) and maitenence done on my saxophone. It needs new cork for the neck, and a new mouthpiece. I've got huge divots carved into the top from nearly twenty years of steadying it with my teeth.
Think about it.
Either that, or just a brand-spankin' new Tenor sax. Or a Baritone sax...
Or both.
I would cream my jeans on national TV for a new saxophone.
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