"I kinda like that. I'm gonna tap that"

Another month, another blog.

The month of love is done and gone for another year, and so will go my obsession with it. It's not that I figure I'm gonna give up on it, because I would rather repeatedly smack myself in the head than think that I'll die alone... I'm just going to focus on other things.

Like... hmm... getting an education. That's the most important thing on my mind right now. I emailed the good folk at MUN today to try and change my admission to May, as opposed to September. The more I think about it, the better off I'd be doing so. If you've been reading this at all in the last month, you'll know how much I despise living in Gander. That pretty much goes without saying.

So why not just go to school early? The way I see it, I'll be done the first semester just in time for my birthday... Maybe a nice digital camera would make for a birthday present.

However, to tell you the truth, I would really like a keyboard... And not a half-assed one with less than 88 keys, either. If I'm gonna get something I can play, I want something I can really take advantage of. If not a keyboard, then a tenor sax. I've played a bari, and have owned an alto since mid October of 1991, so the tenor would be kinda like the holy grail for me. Then, when I jam with people, I'll have that option of switching it up between saxes.

Then again, maybe some maitenance done on my alto wouldn't hurt. It needs new keypads, a few new springs here and there, and definitely some new cork for the neck. Actually, a new mouthpiece wouldn't hurt either. Why not just get a new sax, you ask?

Well, that's almost like looking at your kid, seeing he's got fucked up teeth, and instead of getting braces you trade him in for a kid with straight teeth.

I'm also looking forward to the day I get my own house. That means, of course, that the piano finally will have a new home. I'm obviously gonna get some maitenance done on that, too. Depending on cost, I'd need to get all new strings... Or at least a couple replaced. I know that down in the lower register, just below middle C, the... hmm.... I think it's the A and B flat keys/strings.... they're gone all fuck-ish. They just don't sound right. And those are pretty important notes, and are used quite frequently.

Ahhhh the piano... I haven't played nearly as much as I said I was going to. But I don't like it when people are around when I play, ya know? It's an extension of myself when I play, and I like to keep certain things very guarded. Music is and always be a very personal thing to me...

One might think I'm a little hypocritical by saying that I have things that are personal to me, given how open I tend to be with my writing. Well, yeah I guess I am a little hypocritical. So be it. Who cares? Not me. Music and writing, to me, are two totally different things.
To a degree, of course.

I like listening to certain songs, but I won't listen to 'em around other people. It's almost as if music really opens up a window to my soul. Music really holds true what's inside me. Sometimes I want to be open, sometimes I want to be closed...
But if you ever want to find your way into my heart, have musical talent. That's pretty much a surefire way to get me to dig you.

My ex, for example... I've talked about her before, but now that we're on music again, I might as well talk about her again. I have never ever ever ever ever in my life, not once, not ever, EVER heard anyone sing like her. I don't think I could ever forget how she sounded when she opened her mouth to sing.
Goosebumps.
All
over
my
body.

Lindsay had/has an amazing voice, and I'll just never understand how she never did anything with it. In my humble opinion, she's got a massive talent just going to waste. Not only is she a fantastic singer, she's got a warm and engaging personality that just lights up any room as soon as she enters. She's really got "it", y'know?

And before anyone gets the wrong impression, I am not in love with this girl. I just really admire her for her talent... And it also kinda irks me that she's done nothing with this talent besides sing at the odd karaoke night. If there's ever been someone I could put my complete faith into, it's her. I do consider myself lucky to have known her, if only for a short period of time.

Back to the piano thing.... I was just listening to Bruce Springsteen's "The Wrestler" again (that's one of my new favorite songs), and I'm determined to learn that song on piano. It's a beautiful, haunting song... I could listen to it over and over and over again... kinda like Crash Parallel's "Rain Delays". That's another song I've really taken to in the last couple months.

I gotta say, if it weren't for music, I can't say where I'd be. I have no clue. At least not as far as state of mind, anyhow. It anchors me unlike any drug ever could.

If I go deaf, I want you people to read it here first: I'll probably hit myself over and over again in the head with a brick.
I'd rather die than not be able to listen to music.