So things are finally, and I mean finally starting to look up for me.
Not that things haven't taken a positive turn since the start of '09, but now it's in full force. I got some mail yesterday that I've been waiting a week or so for. Like Tom Petty said, waiting is the hardest part.
The mail I speak of is confirmation for my acceptance into MUN as a full-time student. To say I'm proud of myself would be a gross understatement.
I'm well aware pride is supposedly one of the "seven deadly sins", but who ever said Matthew Baker wasn't a sinner? I'm not a biblical person anyway.
This feeling of getting out there and doing something with my life just became more real than anything I've ever experienced. More real than my pet rock. More real than Cactus Jack, my pet cactus. More real than the beard on my face.
I almost feel overwhelmed with pride. I should've given up smoking weed on a fulltime basis YEARS ago.
Ahh but y'know what? Maybe I was never quite ready. I've always been the one to have to experience things for myself. I don't ever take anyone's word for anything. I need to go out and do everything firsthand. I've been told drugs were bad. So? I'm not gonna believe anyone until I do the drugs myself. And lordy, did I ever do drugs. Cocaine, ecstacy, acid, weed, hashish, ritalin, etc... I'm all about the experience.
It feels like now is the time to go back to school, ya know? I can't put it into any other words than it just feels right. And I've got some goals set already. I won't accept anything less than an A, in regards to marks. Why? Because I know and feel that I'm capable of attaining high marks. I may not get any scholarships, but I know damn well I'm gonna be on the dean's list. There's no way in hell I'm gonna come out of this with anything less than straight A's.
Just two more sleeps until my preggo sister comes home. I can't wait to make fun of her again. Yes, I'm allowed to make fun of her for getting knocked up. She's my sister.
And I love her dearly.
So I may be moving back into town sooner than August. I've been actively looking for a place in town since yesterday, because I know that when August comes around it ain't gonna be easy to find a spot. The plan is to get a nice little one bedroom and maintain a full-time job until September rolls around. That way, I can get good and settled into the city again.
Didn't I tell you, St. John's, that I'd be back?
Churchill Square would be the ideal place for me to live, but I know that's, like, prime real estate. But I was talking to a friend who lives there, and she gave me the # for the landlord. It's worth a try. I mean, the Square is RIGHT next to MUN.
Perfect.
Everything I need would be RIGHT THERE. And the best thing about it is that I can get fresh produce there during the summer/fall. That is, of course, as long as the Farmer's Market hasn't moved.
Ahhhhh I am so so so so so so so so so excited about moving and starting over again.
It's like I'm starting right from the beginning. The past ten years have changed and shaped me in a way that any university education could never hope to do. I'm who I am because of decisions and choices I've made. And now it's time to start a completely new life in the city. Again.
But this time, I will not fail. This time, I'm gonna go above and beyond anything anyone have ever expected from me.
It's funny how well positive thinking actually works. You should really try it some time. I don't mean to just go at things half-assed, and say "oh, okay, well maybe that wasn't meant to happen, so I'll accept it and move on"... don't settle for anything less than THE BEST, my friends.
I've used this example in talking to my old roomie Julie before, and I may have used it in these blogs, but I'm gonna talk about it again. It makes so much sense to me, and I think you all would do well to pay heed to my words.
Think of your mind as a garden. Now think of negative thoughts and positive thoughts as seeds. By thinking bad and negative thoughts, you're going to cultivate nothing but a garden of weeds. Who the hell wants that?
But if you want to have nothing but roses, chrysanthimums, daisies, and such, in your mind's garden, then think happy thoughts. Think about positive things. You truly do owe it to yourself to at least give it a shot.
Trust me on this one. You'll see a huge difference in the way things go in your life. You really will.
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