"She'll let you in her house if you come knockin' late at night"

I love reading other people's blogs.

If for nothing else, I use them as inspiration. One in particular makes me kinda sad, because I wish I could help my friend. She's very sad lately, and the protector in me just wants to give my friend a hug.

There's another blog I read (and thanks be to jesus she started writing again) that I find inspirational for a completely different reason. Jaymi and myself are a little similar, for reasons that I don't honestly feel like getting into right now. I don't know if I'd be able to put any specific words to what I'm thinking anyway.
We've had conversations about running away to Africa together; chats about living in a shack in a different country, with nothing but our wits, our wine, and our words.
She's of a different breed, and it sucks that she lives out in BC. I met her when she lived in Gander, and although we never hung out much, I always dug her as a person. She's very cool.

Yes, I still use the word cool. That's because I'm old-school. I'm... old.... in less than two years I'm gonna be thirty!!

If you haven't picked up on something by now, I don't ever talk about dudes in my blogs. It's not that I don't like guys, but I just get along with chicks better. It's always been that way. My closest friends in life have been female... and y'know what? I'm completely satisfied with that. Females outnumber males on both sides of my family 2 to 1. I guess I'm just more comfortable around 'em. It's always been that way, and it's most likely always gonna BE that way.


So what else is there to talk about?

I'm getting that lonely feeling again... I try and try and try not to talk about wanting to find someone for myself, but whenever I put my fingers to the keyboard, that's the first thing that pops up. It's one of the most prominent thoughts in my head.
Maybe it's because I believe that I'm finally getting my life in order, and am just not putting that much emphasis on the school thing.
I've got faith that I can and will do well, when I head to MUN. Confidence in the education area is something I have in abundance.

However, that's not gonna find me someone to lay next to at night. It's not gonna find me someone to look at across a table, and ignore everything else in the world.
It's funny... finding love seems like it's my biggest desire in the world right now. I'm happy with the way everything else in my life is going right now. Sure, it sucks ass being stuck in Gander, but it's a temporary pain. I know I'm not going to be here forever.
But this love thing eats at me every single day.

I'm not a fan of being alone.
Maybe the music I listen to does it to me. I've been nonstop listening to stuff like "Secret Garden", by Bruce Springsteen... "Cryin'", by Aerosmith... Even "Hey there, Delilah" by the Plain White T's, has gotten steady play on my list.

And is wanting to find someone so special that I'd die for such a wrong thing? No. I think not.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I am a hopeless romantic, and ain't nothing gonna change that. I love love. That warm fuzzy feeling when the one you love touches your face. Those butterflies you get when your lover looks in you, not at you. The kind of butterflies that lift you up so high, you don't ever wanna come down, no matter how scared you may be to fall. But you won't fall, because the one you love ain't never gonna let you go.

Love...

it's a fucked up, funny thing.


So if it's something I desire so greatly, why can't I find it? I know I'm not going to find anyone in Gander. It just ain't gonna happen. I've got no desire to even date anyone here in town, to be honest. Because I know I'm going to be moving soon, and, well.... to tell you the truth, any time I've ever made an attempt at dating someone here in Gander, something always ended up going fuckish.

So when's my time to shine gonna come?


To end this on a slightly positive note, I'm listening to Heart right now... I f*ing love these bitches.

Is anyone watching American Idol these days? I was watching it last week, and there was this 16 year old girl who sang "Alone" by the aforementioned group.
Holy shit can she ever belt it out. Talk about a powerful friggin' voice. I think her name is Allison... not sure on the last name.

But god damn... look out for her. She's got red hair. I think she'll go really really really far. If she doesn't, America is sexist. America's on drugs.



Okay, nearly suppertime now. I'm gonna go eat, then think about stuff that's never gonna happen with people who'll never run away with me.