"I always leave with less than I had before"

I don't normally post the lyrics to songs, because, well, it's gay. It's something teenage girls do, to stupid Lady Gaga or that f*ing Britney Spears.

Well, I'm gonna break that rule. I've found a beautiful song, and I obviously wouldn't even talk about it if it didn't touch me. For those who are unaware, professional wrestling is a love; a passion of mine. I'm not one of those who think it's real. I know that 95% of what you see on Monday Night Raw, or TNA: iMPACT (spikeTV, thursdays at 9pm/eastern) is all pre-determined.
Wrestling touches a nerve deep inside me. If it's not the theatrics of it, it's the athleticism of these men. You look at someone like Eddy Guerrero (RIP) or Rey Mysterio Jr. fly around the ring, and you can't help but admire those men. The performance aspect of professional wrestling is second to none. Sure, the acting SUCKS. But I don't watch it to see these guys speak. I watch it to see these guys tell a story.
I don't expect many people to understand what I'm even saying. Wrestling has long been a sort of taboo... a subject that most don't talk about for fear of being labeld "uncool"... Fuck 'em, I says. I love it. I am passionate about it. I have read many books on the subject, I have watched footage from old matches dating back to the 50's. Every day, every single day I try to learn something new about it.
They give of themselves, they tear their bodies apart for (sometimes) as many as 200+ days a year.
Some do it for money, some do it for fame.
But there are a select few who do it because they LOVE to perform. They want to make people happy. They simply want to get a reaction out of a crowd. There used to be a time when wrestling was taken more seriously, but Hulk Hogan fucked all that up. Sure, I'm a Hulkamaniac, but Hogan fucked what was known as professional wrestling right up the ass, and he didn't even spit on it.
There were men who gave their lives to this sport... if you wanna call it that.

It seems like this song I'm going to post the lyrics for talks about these men. The ones who have nothing after the curtain is drawn. The men who have nowhere to go when the show is over.
It (the song) won a Golden Globe for best song, or whatever the category was. Not quite sure. It's the song from the upcoming movie staring Mickey Rourke, "The Wrestler". Actually, the song has the same name as the movie, and it was written/performed by Bruce Springsteen. I highly recommend you listen to this song. I really do. It may not touch you as it touched me, but maybe you could understand where I'm coming from as a person, just a little tiny bit. Please indulge me.

Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free?
If you've ever seen a one trick pony then you've seen me
Have you ever seen a one-legged dog making its way down the street?
If you've ever seen a one-legged dog then you've seen me

Then you've seen me, I come and stand at every door
Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before
Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor
Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?
Tell me can you ask for anything more?

Have you ever seen a scarecrow filled with nothing but dust and wheat?
If you've ever seen that scarecrow then you've seen me
Have you ever seen a one-armed man punching at nothing but the breeze?
If you've ever seen a one-armed man then you've seen me

Then you've seen me, I come and stand at every door
Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before
Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor
Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?
Tell me can you ask for anything more?

These things that have comforted me, I drive away
This place that is my home I cannot stay
My only faith's in the broken bones and bruises I display

Have you ever seen a one-legged man trying to dance his way free?
If you've ever seen a one-legged man then you've seen me


Okay, there's my little spiel on pro wrestling. I'm aware people make fun of me because of my love of it, but I do not care.

Actually, I think that's all I'm gonna write tonight. I don't really have much else to talk about. Nothing interesting is happening in my life lately, besides the ongoing process to better myself.

If a day goes by where I don't learn something, then it's a wasted day. It's one gone by where I don't live.

I am very anxious, nervous, excited, happy, scared to get back to school. Such a plethora of emotions going through me when I think about it...

I've also come to the conclusion about something,.... And this really will be the last thing I have to say... for now... I know, I know, I talk too much.
My conclusion... As much as a downer that my last blog was, I know that I don't have to have someone by my side to be happy. Sure, it would be nice to come home to a special lady.
But I have to work on me. If I'm not happy with myself, how can anyone else be happy with me?