Y'know what? I'm on a big fat Nirvana kick lately. I mean, I've always been a big fan of them. But since I borrowed "Heavier than Heaven", it's almost as if I've discovered a whole new band. It's not so much the lyrics I'm interested in; Kurt Cobain is just a little too dark for me in that sense. But the music itself... The melodies, the hooks, the insanely addictive guitar grooves.
Nirvana are just awesome.
I've always liked heavy music, like KoRn, Limp Bizkit, Metallica, deftones, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue.... the list goes on and on...
But these dudes, this Nirvana... Man. I don't know what it is. I've got on the "Bleach" album right now. And I have never heard anything like this in my life. I don't expect many people reading this to mirror my sentiment. I don't blame 'em.
If you're curious, though, I'd glad to email you the album. Or at least a couple songs from it. If that won't work, at least download the songs, "Floyd the Barber", "School", "Love Buzz", and "Blew". Those are just a few.
Hmm... just noticed something. I go from talking about people to talking TO them in these blogs. This journal. My sentence structure is pretty shagged up. I think it's because I don't generally think about what I write, when I DO write. The words just kinda flow from my fingertips. As it is when I speak, I don't generally filter what I put down onto "paper".
I'm at a bit of an advantage here, though, because if I DO happen to type something that might not necessarily work out in my favour, I've got the option of censoring/deleting it.
I don't generally believe in censoring things, though. That's not to say I think one should be liberal with the f-bombs, because it just sounds un-intelligent. But once in awhile, it's okay to say "cocksuckin' motherrfucker, with a pissy bag of shit". Swearing is sometimes my way of letting out my aggression.
I'm not a physically violent person; not by any stretch of the imagination at all. I've only ever got into one fight in my life. One physical fight, anyway.
I've punched things while angry, such as pillows, the floor, my own head. But I have never raised my fists in anger to another person in my life (besides that one time in grade 8, and then i had no choice. either that or get my ass kicked). I simply don't believe in physical violence.
Maybe that's because I'm so good with lyrical/vocal aggression that I don't NEED to use my fists to fight.
I've used my words many times to avoid nasty confrontations, and I'll continue to do so. Doesn't always work out according to plan.
Y'know, maybe saying that I'm good with vocal aggression wasn't such a good thing to say. I should clarify that statement.
I'm not quick to anger. Not at all. I like to think I've come a long way with controlling my negative emotions. I like to think I'm living vicariously through the aggresive music I listen to (i.e. nirvana, korn, etc.). That's pretty much how I act out my anger.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to say that I'm an angry person. But things do piss me off. And I've found that as long as I listen to that kinda music and write like this, then there's a very good chance I don't get physically angry. That's all that matters.
The next step, of course, is to rid myself of anger altogether. I plan on working on that with Yoga, and the study of buddhism. Again with the explaining here... I'm not saying that I want to convert to buddhism, but these guys are onto something. I find it a very interesting way of life, and the spirituality involved with said religion/way of life is very very interesting. The next chance I get, I may just buy, "Buddhism for Dummies".
So I wonder about something... When I get married, is my wife going to be tolerant of the way I do things? I'm not conventional by any means. I do things my own way, and that's generally gotten me plenty of strange looks and questions like, "What the f*k did you do THAT for?!".
To sum myself up in one word, I'd probably use "unconventional".
However, that way of life hasn't really worked out for me. I'm no farther ahead now than I was six years ago. I'm pretty much right back to where I started.........
which is exactly why I'm going back to school. Maybe the guidance counsellor route might not be the best one. I can't teach people things; I can't make as big an impact in said profession.
Teaching is what has been poppin' up in my head. Alot of friends whom I've spoken to have said the same thing. I believe I could do well as an english teacher, or something along those lines. Anything to do with literature, etc. Language. That kinda thing. What do youse guys thinks?
Y'know who else I really really like? Weird Al Yankovic. He's got to be (in my opinion) one of the funniest songwriters of all time. I don't know where he comes up with so many different lyrics. The man's been around for thirty years now, believe it or not, and he's showing no signs of slowing down at all. It's not just the parody songs I find funny. His original songs, such as "You don't love me anymore", "The night Santa went crazy", and "Do I creep you out?" are some of my favorites of all time, and are staple songs on my mp3 player. No matter what I've got on there, you can rest assured that those three will be listened to.
Green Day's another group similar to Weird Al, in how much I love them. I remember exactly where I was the first time I heard "Basket Case", and I can say without a doubt that my life changed from that moment on. Those guys are the main reason I wanted to learn guitar.
The only stuff I know now is pretty much Green Day... 99% of the songs are all power-chords. That's just what I'm good at. I can't play regular chords, or any kinda lead guitar work. I just haven't got the proper co-ordination. But I can play the hell out of a Green Day song.
Speaking of playing music, I've got my piano upstairs, and it's calling my name. I am gonna figure out "Better in Time" today. Mark my words. I will learn that song... I've been saying it for over a month now.
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