Well ya know, I was always the first to arrive at the party.... Oh, and the last to leave the scene of a crime.

It started with a couple of beers.

One could argue it was the first cigarette I ever smoked, sitting on one of the fallen trees in the woods behind my house. I remember it like it was yesterday. Player's Light, regular size. And I didn't cough. I remember making sure I was inhaling, because that's how people could tell if you were a faker or not.
Lord knows there were enough people who "smoked", but never inhaled. I mean, come ON. If you're gonna go swim in the ocean you might as well fuck with the sharks, right?
But yeah, I think that was the day I decided I would try whatever I could, just to be cool. Peer pressure didn't exist for me, because I felt no pressure to do stupid things. I just did 'em.
And I was thirteen when I smoked that cigarette.

That means it's been nearly sixteen years since I had my first cigarette. Kinda disgusting, really. I haven't been a full-on smoker since then, as money was obviously an issue. Didn't really pick it up as a "habit" until I was nineteen. That's when alot of things started to go downhill. Ciggies, weed, drinking, drugs.

And that brings me to where I am today... If someone asks me what I did for the last ten years, what am I supposed to say?
"I got stoned. I drank."
Good answer, Matty.

But in reality, that's pretty much what I did. Mind you, I learned a lot about people. I've seen both the ugly AND beautiful side of human-kind.

It just seems that more often than not, I've found an absence of beauty in people.
There are very few people on this planet I consider beautiful. (not counting my family)...
Maybe on one hand, I could sit them on each finger if they were small enough.

I'm not complaining, nor am I saying that this planet is fucked up. But I don't generally see the positive side of humanity unless there's a tradgedy to bring it out. So why is it that someone has to die on this planet in order for humans to be good, and give of themselves?

Why is it that it's considered strange for someone to want to do something good, just for the sake of doing something good?
I realize I may sound a little bitter... And yeah, I guess I am. I'm of a different breed, I think. Don't get me wrong; I love Christmas and all the happiness and joy the season brings.
But why is it not prudent to act like Christmas with you all the year 'round? Be happy just because you're alive, man. Don't bitch about the weather, don't bitch about the fact that there's no money, and don't
Be happy for the sake of being happy.
Be positive.

Do it just because it's the right thing to do. Negativity will only spread, and it'll poison you. It's a poison far worse than nicotene, or any drug I've ever ingested.



So what else is new?
I hung out with my old friend Danielle today. That was awesome, considering I haven't seen her in nearly a year now. Didn't really do much; just got some coffee at Tim's, and drove around Gander for a little while. I enjoyed it, because we're both the same age (i've known danielle since we were both eight, when she moved into gander), and, well, are pretty much in the same spot in life. Neither of us are in a position in life we want to be in... And I think we understand each other, and feel at ease.
No, I'm not in love with the girl. hahah but I am fond of her as a friend. She'll always be dear to me.


Still working on that Leona Lewis song. It's a bit of a piss-off, because I don't have any music to read off of. I'm doing it all up in my head, and pausing/unpausing my mp3 player every few seconds to figure stuff out is a little frustrating. But that's how I learn what I play. I listen to it first. Doesn't ALWAYS work out, because I didn't take the time to learn enough theory back when I DID take lessons.
If I could give any piano player (or anyone else wanting to learn an instrument, for that matter) some advice, it would be to LEARN YOUR GOD DAMN THEORY. It makes ALL the difference in the world. Trust me.

Y'know what I wish I could do, though? Sing. I mean, I can carry a tune, but I don't know how to breathe properly, what with the diaphragm, and all. I know what one's gotta do, but I don't know how one goes about doing it. I guess it's similar to playing the sax, but singing and saxing are completely different as far as the sound goes.

That's something else I want... Want want want... Yeah, I'm a dreamer, I know. But the things I think about are important to me, and would help me entertain people.
Anyhoo... I want a tenor sax. I realize they're expensive, and that sucks BALLS. But it's the one sax (out of the three that matter) that I have yet to play. It's in just the right key for me to play along to heavier stuff, like Ozzy and Velvet Revolver, too.
What?
You don't think a saxophone solo during "Slither" or "Perry Mason" would sound good? Well, you haven't heard me play the sax.

Still listening to Nirvana... I've got the "Nevermind" album on right now. It almost makes me a little sad to know Kurt Cobain's dead. The music he wrote is fantastic. I know that sentiment isn't going to be mirrored by everyone reading this, but the whole one guitarist/one bassist/one drummer/one vocalist thing (i.e. like greenday, for example) has always been my favorite combo. Sometimes you've got a dude playing guitar AND singing, like those two mentioned bands, and then you've got a band like Motley Crue.
Point of this is, I dig the style that's generally done when you have that combo. As long as it's heavy. I wouldn't call myself a true metal-head, because there is some shitty shitty shitty metal music out there. Not a fan of Cannibal Corpse, or that death-metal crap. Just regular ol' heavy metal, like Motley Crue, Metallica, Megadeath, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath. I love it.
Songs to crash your car to.

I need to take a bit of a break now... I plan on writing a little short story later on, so I must give my fingers a break. Check out "Story time with Matthew Baker", my other blog. I only put it up there today. Methinks that will be completely fictional writing, and this "In a world gone mad..." you're currently reading, well, it's obviously non-fiction. I speak the truth.